The Proverbs 31 Woman: Decoded

Updated: Aug 28, 2019


Whether we believe it or not, our culture molds our expectations spoken and unspoken in the various aspects of our lives including religion.


More specifically, with Christianity being one of the largest religions on the planet, it’s influences are far and wide in our daily lives.


For example, Proverbs 31 is what the Bible defines as a virtuous (good) wife.


It speaks of her character, her habits, the position of her husband in society because of her virtuosity, how her children’s view her and what the Bible suggests about choosing a virtuous wife.


For some girls and young women, this is the consummate path (instructors manual) to a successful, harmonious and prosperous companionship with their knight and shining armor and family life.



Here‘s what you can get from reading Proverbs 31:


Interdependence. Womanhood (and personhood for that matter) is about interdependence not independence or codependency. The Proverbs 31 woman is responsible and accountable to her life first being able to care for herself so that she can care for others. To learn more about self-care to have an overflow for others, read “My Cup Runneth Over.”



Healthy Relationship.Her relationships are about equity, trust and empowerment not control, distrust and dominance.


11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. (Proverbs 31:11).



Self-Trust.She understands the importance of self-trust and the ability to make decisions without seeking approval or validation of others.


16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. 18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. (Proverbs 31:16,18).



Management Skills. She’s using her time, resources and talents wisely with habits that are productive and fruitful leading her to possibilities and success.


17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. 27 ... and does not eat the bread of idleness.(Proverbs 31:17-18, 27).



As a result of these principles, this ideal wife’s character is praised with dignity, wisdom, grace, harmony and faithfulness.


The Proverbs Woman is and sounds really amazing!


It is what every woman should aspire to be and every man desire to have in a wife.


However, if we completely focus only on the precepts outlined in Proverbs 31, we are missing some other important aspects that we must also uncover.


However, if we completely focus only on the precepts outlined in Proverbs 31, we are missing some other important aspects that we must also uncover.

Self-Care.How does she find time for herself because in order to do these things wells for others in a healthy way, she has to make time for that?



Emotional Intelligence. How does she deal with, process and manage negative emotions, circumstances, disappointment or people because I am sure that she’s human and has emotions and obstacles?



Successful Singleness. Who was she, what were her habits and her character before she was a wife and mom? What did she do before those titles to operate effectively as a wife and mother? OAN: How did she date her husband to establish the foundation of a healthy, successful marriage and family life?


OAN: How did she date her husband to establish the foundation of a healthy, successful marriage and family life?

These are important questions and insights to be had and uncovered.


If you solely look at that the fruits of Proverbs 31 without uncovering and learning the seeds that must be sown, it can be misleading.


And they be uncovered not by doing, doing, doing:


“Okay I have to get up before the sunrises, work, work, work til after the sun goes down, act with dignity and laugh at everything that comes your way because if I do I will be a good wife and everything will work out for me.“


That is a legalistic way of living.


You uncover them by your own personal awareness and being present with you by listening to self-care, mastering your own emotional intelligence and understanding how to live well in autonomy before living as a collective unit.


And these principles are not just for women to be successful in marriage and in having a family, they are also important for men alike.


When we take a holistic view of what Proverbs 31 tells us and what we uncover in a deeper sense we get the following principles to consider:


  • Self-Care.

  • Self-Trust.

  • Good Self-Esteem.

  • Responsible and Healthy Autonomy.

  • Establishing and Maintaining Healthy Relationships.

  • Mastering Emotional Intelligence.

  • Effective Personal, Professional and Time Management Skills.


It is these principles we can all take and learn from to be virtuous, to live a well lived life and embrace possibilities!

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