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Apologizing is an important act of personal accountability and responsibility.
Someone who is capable of looking within, take responsibility, and resolve conflict directly is a sign of a healthy person.
Being capable to take duty for our affect on other people, admit and own our errors and defects, creates restore trust and connection especially with the people close to us. These are all important aspects of living an accomplished life and creating healthy relationships.
Unhealthy Apology
At the same time, we can devaluate, contempt, and do harm to ourselves and those around us, by apologizing for who we are in a shame-based way – which generally comes by a place of shame (feeling as if we're not good enough or there's something inherently wrong with us) or guilt.
Apologizing genuinely is about accepting responsibility for our actions, our affect, or our responses that.
Apologizing for who we are is very much about us thinking or saying some adaptation of, "I'm bad, it's my fault, or do not hate me," like we are a baby looking for establishment or approval.
This is a particular example of how shame comes on in our lives.
And, regardless how much we might "apologize," when it comes from a source of shame or guilt, we are never capable of shaking the feeling of something being wrong with who we are.
Apology No More
While we all have issues, blemishes and challenges in life, but that doesn’t make us mad and there is nothing inherently wrong with you.
Most of us can spend and waste a lot of time over apologizing, criticizing, and being mean to ourselves.
Treating yourself like this never works - it does not help us convert to better people.
It does not give us access to more passion, power, nor possibilities.
It does not make us less committed to those around us who we would like to support and vice versus.
It simply keeps us stuck in a negative story about who we believe we are and what we believe needs to be fixed about us so we can then live the life we truly would like to live.
End Unnecessary Apologizing
Block off doing this to yourself.
Stop apologizing for who you are.
Start apologizing in a healthy way when it is fitting and appropriate.
Begin honoring, appreciating, and loving yourself in an reliable way.
Start living!
And when you do, you embrace possibilities!
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