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Sis, Bro, Squad Goals, Gang-Gang . . . What's Really Real?

Updated: Apr 7, 2019

Group of Black Women Laughing


In the culture of snapchat, online groups, going live and group selfies; the lines get blurred on the basis of an authentic relationship.

Two Young Women at the beach taking a selfie

One that leads sometimes feeling as if your circle is an uphill battle than a lift to your next place in life. On the outside, you all are taking pictures, living it up and "getting money," while on the inside you are challenged as to how you can be authentic and really utilize those around you as a stimulus to possibilities.

Most times, it is the unspoken rules and regulations of relationship that do not get said . . . That gets said in other ways.

To know whether or not your relationships are genuinely one's productive and useful for everyone one involved, let's highlight the three factors in real connection.

1. Transparency

Shadow of a group of people talking

It's not about everyone knowing everything about you as what transparency eludes to.

Some things are genuinely personal in nature; however, it is about the mutual understanding that we are imperfect individuals having a human experience.

None of us, "Have it together." We are all learning at different rates, different spaces, different paths, and various places to have it together.

Transparency says there is a mutual mental understanding of this.

Maybe in your circle, you are the one who can stay positive and poised no matter what while the next person has a great ability to strategize with confidence.

At the same token, you may be the one struggling with confidence and your counterpart may have a tendency to be judgmental and respond to things negatively.

Transparency says, "I honor you. I accept your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats. There is even playing field for us to win and we all are stars in each other's eyes. And together, by us being us; we can learn and grow from each other.

Four women no faces shown holding each other

2. Vulnerability

Vulnerability is a form of emotion that says it's okay not to know how in front of watching eyes.

And most of all, it's good to have the surety of a support system that celebrates the journey with as you learn and discover how.

Life does not come with a manual of steps for anyone.

Sometimes we will live a world especially in light of social media that says, "Know the what, know the how and show everyone else how they need to level up," which is far from reality.



Everyone at some point is or have to overcome, "Getting out of their own head and their own way." It challenges the core of everyone who wishes to achieve their dreams and embrace possibility. It is a natural process of real success.


Having a circle of people that open the space for vulnerability, opens the space of all those connected to transform to the highest representation of themselves.

Two Black Men Talking

3. Accountability

Accountability is not someone being your other parent nor your "Yes Ma'am," to your ever-waking areas that need change and growth.

Accountability is about these three components in a relationship:

  1. Accountability in Thought

  2. Accountability in Action

  3. Accountability in Motive

Three teenagers on a fired fence talking

Accountability is encouraging thought-provoking ideas that look beyond the surface level for solutions and opportunity.

Accountability is inspiring action that aligns with your core values.

Accountability is stimulating reflection to pursue clear intentions.

That is what accountability is all about.

Relationships Matter

Relationships are meaningful, but more importantly, the right connections are necessary to embrace possibility. If you don't take the time to understand who you are in a relationship with yourself and how these three factors matter to you, you can find yourself in a room full of fake friends asking yourself, "What's really real?"


Want to set some real goals in your relationships? Download the free goals planning kit here!

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