It is easy to hold onto the pain and the offense of actions, words or circumstances that negatively impact us.
It is a natural psychology to think that if I hold the ill feelings toward someone that either:
A. We make them suffer in return for what they’ve done.
B. We are justified for our feelings and letting those feelings go, let’s them off the hook.
But the fact of the matter is, when you don’t forgive, it is not impacting the other person more than it is impacting you.
So, #lettuce forgive.
Forgiveness is not about the other person. Forgiveness is about you.
When you forgive, you releasing the negative feelings about a matter for positive feelings about the matter to come which can include:
And much more.
As the famous spiritual teacher Iyanla Vanzant puts it, “Forgiveness does not justify or make what happened to you okay or right. Forgiveness says I am giving this up for something greater.”
Forgiveness is a process which sometimes can feel like a series of phases, but be patient with your transformational process in the forgiveness process because you will be better from the decision to forgive.
Once you build your capacity to be able to forgive, you expand your possibilities to be manage to and do much more because life comes with offense. However, you don’t have to pick them up. If you do, you will find yourself managing damage control than possibilities.
Lastly, forgiveness is not about repeating a matter and engaging again as if things never happened.
Just because your friend told all of your private matters to loose associates does not mean you go back and tell them your matters again. Forgiveness says in this matter that you learned something not about yourself and areas of vulnerabilities but also people’s inclination to gossip.
In learning this, you choose levels of intimacy with people wisely next and you manage safe spaces and outlets that protect the integrity of your life and its most private areas.
And this may still be your friend, they may hold qualities that supersede the need to end the relationship, but may alter the relationship understanding the capacity to repeat matters.
So if they are just the workout buddy at the gym, then leave it as that not your confidant.
Life renders many opportunities to grow and be the best representation of ourselves and sometimes, they come through unfavorable experiences that may hurt us.
When they do, don’t get bitter; get better and #lettuce forgive.
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