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Learning How to Cope

Updated: Apr 25, 2020

We all have unique ways in which we deal with life: the good and not so good experiences in life.

How we deal with the good, but most importantly how we cope with the things we don’t like ... or what we generally call bad, is even more important to our well being.

Because when we don’t cope effectively with the things we don’t like such as:

  • The stress

  • The losses

  • The trauma

  • The breakup

  • The health issues

  • The failed attempts

  • The dysfunctional patterns

They tend to dim down the good times that in fact could shine brighter than what they already are.

Let’s take a hypothetical scenario and let’s name our character, John.

Meet John

John is a recent college graduate working in what most would say a great entry level job for a 24 year old.

Not only is he successful in his new role as a marketing admin, he his gaining invaluable experience in navigating the marketing industry for his own passion: which is music.

As an independent artist, he is rising locally getting paid gigs and is starting to gain some traction on the internet.

He recently was contacted by a Grammy Award winning, platinum selling artist whose interested in featuring him on upcoming underground project.

And he’s in love!

He has one of hottest girls in the city on his arms, a rising Instagram Beauty Influencer named Laila.

Both of them together have over 450,000 followers so they are what you would say are Insta-famous in their own right!

Should John be excited?


Should his ego be on ten?

Of course!

But here is the rub.

John is pushing himself to the limit.

It started out as a simple way to cram studying during his college days so he could have more time on the social scene for his music and his socialite beau.

But now it has become his way of managing ... his way to cope with the demands of life.

With all of the irons in the pot, he sets a benchmark of reaching all of them at 100% all the time ... causing him to burn out quickly.

The dozing off in the meetings, going to sleep on movie nights with Laila, and the sense of feeling drained all of the time is John’s body signaling a need for rest.

Rest is something we all need.

However, instead of balancing in rest, mindfulness, and recalibrating himself, John resorted to initially long coffee binges and 5-hour Energy Drinks.

But now, with a demanding job, late nights gigs, keeping up with his popular girlfriend, and endless hours in the studio; it is starting to take a toll on him.

In frustration and seeking to keep up, he reaches out to a fellow musician to see what they do handle fatigue and burn out, and to their suggestion: illegal use of prescription pills. And knowing that his own father struggled with addiction, John is at a crossroads during one of best seasons in his life.

The Fork in the Road

We all like John are faced with forks in the road and maybe not the lure of drug use, but a critical moment in life that greatly determines the paths ahead.

If John continues to handle his fatigue and overdrive by dismissing a healthy sense of balance, he could find himself further and further away from it.

He, like most of us has a choice to make: to continue to deal the way he handles life knowing that it is leading him further away from his values, his integrity and his peace?


Does John for once pause, to start working on a better way to cope with life successfully?

Identifying the Need to Cope Differently

Sometimes we really don’t realize we are coping ineffectively until we realize ... we are not coping effectively.

It may be by the realization of a myriad of scenarios including but not limited to:

This is the 2nd job in a row that’s fired you for the same reason in the last 6 months, attendance.

You wake up realizing after 5 years of marriage, you are your dysfunctional mom and your husband is your controlling dad.

Or simply, you are tempted by the things you know are not in alignment to your character nor your core values; yet because of where you are, it’s tempting to go against everything you know is best ... this was John’s dilemma.

Whatever the scenario is, it is not important.

The most important key is that you realize the way in which you are handling things in your life and the way are coping with life must change.

Change Starts Here

Before any action, there is a thought and then a decision.

You must make up in your mind that you no longer want to deal with life as business as usual.

Before you say yes, you must think yes.

Before you say no, you think no.

In others words, your actions are supported by your thoughts.

If you find yourself continuing down a rabbit hole time and time again ask yourself, ”What am I thinking?”

And simply by changing your thought life and thought processes consistenly will help open doors to new ways of handling your daily life.

John Has a Choice: So Do You

We all struggle from time to time, but we don’t have to stay in the struggle wheel and cycle of handling life.

We all have the ability and capacity to transform, development and grow into something better every moment in life.

And despite the struggles we have faced in the past, we all can make the choice to handle life’s circumstances better with every thought we think.

When choose to follow and elect the thoughts that support our best and healthy selves, the doors begin to open up and avenues make themselves available to us to act towards ways that help us successfully deal and cope with life on purpose embracing possibilities.


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