There are so many instances when a loved one needs some cheering up.
Sometimes when we see those struggling, down or in needed, we feel limited in what to do.
However, being a cheerleader is a skill—the skill of cheering people up—it is a friendship healer, sealer and bond builder.
You can instantly better a bond with the person when you are able to cheer them up.
If you find it hard on what to do or say to cheer people up, these are some of the ways you can go about it.
A Time and Place
Sometimes, the setting must be appropriate to encourage someone especially if it is a sensitive matter.
It is always good to find a safe space. Sit down near them. The very act of sitting down together is reassuring for people who are going through a rough time.
Do Not Prod
Do not prod them too much.
Do not ask about what’s going on or details they are not open to disclose. They have to understand that you are with them. They need to trust you in order to start talking. If you come off as being nosey instead of being helpful, it won’t bridge be the gap of intimacy.
Sometimes just being present is enough.
Choose Questions Wisely
Do not ask redundant questions like, “How did you get into that mess?”, “What do you plan to do now?”, etc.
Such questions can only bring more misery to them than resolve and clarity they are seeking.
In fact, you should not ask questions at all if at all possible.
Be with them for a while.
If they want to continue sharing with you no questions asked, then you should take this as a sign that they want to talk with you too.
Listen Without Judgement
When they eventually talk, listen to them. Most people don’t want advice or suggestions when they are feeling low; they just want to let it all out. Be the ears they want to talk to.
Do not linger too much on what has happened with them. Do not give examples from your own life. That would be just like adding salt to the injury; like freshening up their hurt. Instead, talk normally. Most people would love that.
When we are going through a calamity, the most reassuring thing is the feeling that everything is getting back to normal.
You won’t be able to be a master at this act right from your first time. But life will give you many opportunities to cheer people up, to give them that consolation
that people care and they matter.
When you do, you embrace possibilities!
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